Self-Sabotage is Often Presented As Self-Care

If I had a dollar for everyone who has said to me, “How do you do make videos?  How do you get in front of the camera?  Aren’t you scared?!” I’d be a wealthy woman.  I hear coaches, business owners, and entrepreneurs all tell me, “I’d love to do what you are doing, but – I am just not ready yet.” And, I agree- doing something new can be intimidating. But, just not doing something because it seems scary is often self-sabotage that presents itself as self-care.

How you show up online, or in business, is as scary as you make it.  It can be overwhelming and intimidating if you are new to the online space. However, there is nothing scary about showing up for yourself and your business.  It may take a bit of self-talk to remind yourself of why showing up matters.  Let’s break this down a bit. 

Self-Talk Is Mindset Work 

Currently, the idea of “mindset” is very on-trend.  And it is not something I am against. In fact, as a social scientist, we have taught ‘mindset’ work for decades under the name of “intrapersonal communication,” which are virtually the voices in your head. The voices that often have a loud, powerful impact on the choices you make, while other times it is a quiet whisper that is easy to ignore. 

When it comes to showing up online, as an entrepreneur, a professional, or even a friend, a little bit of anxiety that peaks into our heads mean we may tell ourselves, “not this time” or “I am going to sit this one out” or “maybe next time. I’m not ready.”  Anxiety puts us in a fight, flight, or freeze mode.  And when something seems scary, the voices in our heads give us plenty of reasons to ‘opt-out’ and stay in a proverbially safe space of the known and familiar. 

The Premise of Self-Care

The premise of self-care comes in when we decide that ‘opting-out’ is acceptable.  In fact, when we tell ourselves “It’s Ok – you’re not ready yet” or “It’s OK, no need to put yourself under any more stress than is necessary” we are often missing out on experiences that could benefit from us.  Our brains are hardwired to keep us safe.  We make decision and act in ways that align with our sensation of safety.  Self-care tells us we can.  

However, we cannot hide from ourselves, and unknown experiences forever.   I have always said, “You don’t know who you are doing something until you actually do it.”  We have to remember that just because something seems daunting, overwhelming, or scary does not mean that it is something we should not do.  Perhaps we should do it mindfully, carefully and intentionally – but we shouldn’t just avoid it.  You are not practicing self-care if you are avoiding exploring who you are outside of your past experiences.  You are, in fact, sabotaging yourself, your efforts, and keeping yourself away from meeting your own goals. 

It is Time To Stop Hiding From Yourself

It is time to stop hiding from yourself and sabotaging your own ability to succeed.  Self-care is not giving yourself permission to avoid things that make you a bit nervous or make you feel overwhelmed.  Avoiding the very work that may allow you to meet, and exceed, your own goals and expectations is self-care.  Avoid is sabotage. 

Now is the time to stop hiding from yourself and take control of the person you want to be.  This means you have to stop hiding from yourself and your potential. It means you learn how to put yourself in situations, safely, that can help you evolve into space and people you desire to be.  You really do not know how well, or successful, you can be at something until you put yourself in the situation to do it.  

Do The Work – Get Ready to Show Up 

That being said, there are ways to show up and present yourself in new ways safely.  At the Wordwell Group, the goal is to do the work so you can confidently show up in new spaces and overcome the anxiety or fear you might be experiencing.  You show up and do the work in a way that allows you to successfully and confidently show up in a new space with the skills that allow you to show up successfully.  Hence, to overcome the self-sabotage of telling yourself you don’t have to do something scary, you actually partake in the act of self-care by learning something new. 

Showing up online, or even at a face-to-face event to showcase your ideas, services or products, there are simple steps you can take to become more capable.  When you are more skilled, you will be more confident.  And when you are confident, no longer do you feel like you need to hide.  You may still feel nervous – but, nervous is normal.  Hiding from your fears is self-sabotage. Self-care is empowering yourself with the skills you need to get to where you are going.  What are some simple steps you can take to practice self-care when it comes to trying something new? 

  1. Prepare what you are going to say
  2. Practice what you are going to say
  3. Practice some more!
  4. Record yourself.  Watch it.  Assess it.  Make tweaks or changes. 
  5. Practice some more.
  6. Be willing to show up for yourself
  7. Be willing to be imperfect, make mistakes and feel a little awkward and uncomfortable. 
  8. Show up.
  9. Speak
  10. Reassess yourself for what went well and what you want to work on the next round. 

Learn More At the Wordwell Group 

Finding your voice online can be overwhelming.  It can be intimidating to speak to a camera and scary to talk on a live stream.  It can be very difficult when you are not prepared and feel uncertain. However, telling yourself to wait is not self-care. It is self-sabotage.  With practice, you can show up online exactly the way your envision. 

When you are ready to invest in yourself and your business, call the team at the Wordwell Group.  We offer One-on-One Coaching, Group Coaching packages and also offer Masterclasses that give you the tools to elevate your voice, brand, business, products and services online while also boosting your confidence.   Schedule your free Discovery Call today with the Wordwell Group. We also invite you to join our Free Group on Facebook: Speak Well, Write Well, Word Well for Leaders, Coaches and Entrepreneurs.

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